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  • 23:16 The Staten Island Ferry is dealing with heavy crowds by cancelling the next scheduled ferry. Yay? #
  • 23:35 @joegarden I like the new songs! #
  • 15:14 I feel a whoop coming on. I'd better go lie down. #
  • 16:11 @Caissie I prefer the ass-free whoop; I'm watching my waistline. #
  • 16:13 @colleenaf I overheard that same thing on the Staten Island Ferry last night! #
  • 16:14 @KenPlume Be careful! That door may lead to some crazy "House of Leaves" place thing deal! #
  • 16:20 @mitdasein Whoop! #
  • 16:38 @muskrat_john Strip searches for the entire family! #
  • 16:56 @colleenaf Homeland Security wants a word or two with The Freak. #
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  • 21:24 @Caissie But if #trending becomes a #trending topic, how will we know what's going on with #justinbieber, who will no longer be #trending? #
  • 12:57 We like to open our Fourth of July presents on Christmas Eve. #
  • 13:51 @Caissie Forget meat slurry. I want a meat Slurpee! #
  • 14:35 @Caissie I always add a shot of scotch to my Meat Slurpee. #
  • 14:38 @wilw Ride were awesome. #
  • 15:14 @joegarden Please please please call the station and request a rock block from Loverboy!!! #
  • 18:48 On our way to Staten Island to see the fireworks, up the hill from where the ferry comes in. Should be America-riffic. #
  • 18:49 @KenPlume Wish I could join in tonight! Next week, can you do Bergman's "Winter Light"...? #
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  • 22:05 Penelope, Princess of Pets? More like, Penelope, Princess of Awesome! @kristenschaaled @kbraunohler #
  • 22:07 @theapiary Wasn't it the best? #
  • 13:55 #ff @Disalmanac, unless you don't like funny and/or smart. #
  • 16:54 At Rockaway Beach; have yet to spot a Ramone. #
  • 17:24 Turns out, Rockaway Beach is both far and hard to reach. #
  • 17:57 @reggiewatts Sign me up! #
  • 19:53 We're gonna rock down to Ralph Avenue, and ralph a little higher. #ATrainSongs #
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  • 21:51 @KenPlume Bob Denver was the ur-Urkel. #
  • 22:05 @BillCorbett Are you being punished? Should we send help? #
  • 23:43 @bostonspaceship I love that song! #
  • 09:10 @balycooley Was the password "Swordfish"...? #
  • 10:54 @kwmurphy Beached Boys #AlteredVerbTenseRock #
  • 13:40 Wondering why Reggie Watts went off on a tangent about being an animated character last night? It was because he spotted me in the audience. #
  • 18:26 Incredibly, I am still mayor of Portland's Ace Hotel on FourSquare. I hope I haven't missed many city council meetings in the past month. #
  • 19:37 We arrived at the Penelope, Princess of Pets screening in Brooklyn early; @kristenschaaled just handed us free t-shirts. #
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  • 17:48 This just in: I just ate a radish. #
  • 17:50 Also, I just had delightful coffee with @MamaSpell, who presented me with myself, not unlike in Waking Life. #
  • 20:05 I hope the final episode of Larry King Live explains what was the deal with the Smoke Monster and the polar bears. #
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  • 20:42 @Randazzoj Queens, on the other hand, has it going on. #
  • 22:32 Finally saw @peteholmez's Comedy Central special; it's pretty much the best one ever. #
  • 22:34 RT @amydstephenson: New post on 107Cookbooks.com, ring around the fruit mold. Jell-O. Marshmallows. Fruit cocktail. Oh, the humanity! #
  • 11:51 I'm glad they issued a heat advisory in New York today; I would never have known it was butt-ass hot outside without it. #
  • 11:53 @bostonspaceship Amazing: Laetitia Sadier, Andre 3000. Inappropriate: the singer from the free credit report TV ads. #
  • 13:56 @InfiniteChicken I feel like the cereal makers got this all wrong; shouldn't the vampire get the flavor that turns your milk red? #
  • 14:16 FrankenBennie #badcereal #
  • 14:20 Cracklin' Goat Bran #badcereal #
  • 14:22 Booger-Frosted Flakes #badcereal #
  • 14:29 @slarkpope @mocoddle Howdy-do! #
  • 16:06 Hey, it's @amydstephenson's birthday! Whoohoo! #
  • 16:07 Also, read @amydstephenson's harrowing account of making Twinkiehenge, with photos: 107cookbooks.com/ #
  • 16:35 @joegarden Don't worry, they're all in the Onion's HR department, so if they need your Social Security number, go ahead and give it. #
  • 18:42 Be sure to follow @notjeffsessions for lots of Supreme Court confirmation fun. #
  • 19:22 Martin Martin Amis #swapawordofmartinamisformartinamis #
  • 19:25 @julieklausner I always got good, if bizarre and off-topic, comments on Salon. #
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  • 20:42 @ColleenCoover Your iPad can see Russia from its...um...box. #
  • 20:44 @Caissie His tongue is cargo! #
  • 21:17 Outside, it sounds like they're dustin' crops where there ain't no crops. #
  • 23:39 @Caissie Fetuses can't read until the 28th week. #
  • 12:18 Salt: The other white condiment. #SaltAdSlogans #
  • 12:19 Salt: It's what's for dinner. #SaltAdSlogans #
  • 12:23 @debenham I was in St. Paul in 2008 to cover the GOP convention. It was adorable (the convention, not so much). #
  • 12:24 @Randazzoj Because you hate FUN? #
  • 12:26 @glossolaliac I saw that hash tag and was all like, "Who's this guy Wade McOn?" #igetitnow #
  • 12:48 @zoh_zoh Are "Mouth Tingles" even legal? #
  • 12:55 @mocoddle How about a German car with dreadlocks? Trust or not trust? #
  • 13:11 When it comes to Twilight, I'm Team Don't Give A Fuck. #
  • 13:48 The local movie theater's marquee reads "Greek Karate Kid." Is Greek karate better than the regular karate? #
  • 13:59 @joqatana I know! Just call it Kung Fu Kid already! #
  • 14:00 @balycooley Great jazz track: The Sidewinder by Lee Morgan. #
  • 14:49 @balycooley The album called The Sidewinder is classic all the way through. #
  • 17:13 RT @Disalmanac: Due to the all-or-nothing rules of World Cup, the US is now Ghanan territory; Americans: do not upset your Ghanan overlords. #
  • 19:00 @reggiewatts This happens to me surprisingly seldomly. #
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